Chapter 1

January Overview

January overview.jpg

Look of the month: dark eyebags, glowy skin, rosy cheeks.

Song of the month: I do  Holley Maher

This month I have been:

*Getting regular 7-8 hours of sleep

*Realizing how soft I am and how I need to find a balance in between.

*Falling in love with spaghetti.

Quote to represent this month: “You can just tell when people lose that spark for you”

Total cries this month: 5

Stress Level: 12/10

Crush Status: “You are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart.” – Franz Kafka

Favourite journal spread this month:


Okay… so I know I haven’t been posting for the whole entire month of January.. It has been dramatically busy for me  to juggle loads of homework at school, prepare for tests, apply to scholarships all due on the same day and worry about when I am getting my acceptance letters from universities.

But… I just received an admission letter yesterday from my dream school so now a lot of my stress has been lifted.

Apologies for only one post for January.




2016 loves

Woahokay, why is another year over… but anyways, Happy New Year my sweethearts! I am embarrassed at the on and off posting. My sleep schedule got all messed up and I was frantically trying to stay awake for my school life that I decided to take a breaks. Although, all my university applications are in, I still have to keep up my grades as well as write all those scholarships essays. I planned great things for this new year though, but well… let’s see how I do aha. Here is a master list on all the things I loved in 2016. Perhaps, some of these things can be your 2017 loves. Enjoy!

Goodbye 2016.jpg

1. This super cute video… you can’t help but smile. Watch it.
2. Book: “Unwind” by Neal Shustman <I read this book after seeing a fan-made short film. I don’t recommend the whole series though, just the first book. I thought it dragged on for too long. >
3.  Movies: “Breakfast at Tiffanys” and “Roman Holidays”. Rewatched these two lovely films starring the lovely Audrey Hepburn. I just love old films.
4. Music: Aquilo <The British duo has voices that makes me swoon. I adore everyone of their songs>
5. Book: “One Past Midnight” by Jessica Shirvington <This book made me cry, I thought it was very well written in the emotional department. However, when I made my brother read it, he thought it was silly… But he is an emotionless robot so what can I say>
6. Podcast: The Skinny Confidential: Him & Her podcast. <Before TSC had a podcast, I was already a fan. But the podcast reeled me in even more; Lauren and Michael has a way of including the audience in their conversation. They are authentic and fun to listen to. I am excited about Tuesdays because of them.>
7. Feeling: Suffering with a nice soundtrack. <Ya feel me? I know you do>
8.The Studyblr Community. <I am immensely grateful for them. They inspired me to love subjects I hate in school. Who knew studying could be fun?>
9.Feeling: When you go in for a hug and the person is extremely hug-able so you don’t let go and sink into them… and they let you because they know you are craving some physical touch.
10. Music:
*”I can’t make you love me” -Bon Iver
* “Little Lover” – Broadhurst
* “Heartbreak”- MDWS
* “Sweetheart, What have you done to s” – Keaton Henson
* “Nothing Hurts Like this”- SLO
* “Is it Love” – 3LAU
* “Gemini Feed” – BANKS

The ocean and the shore

The Ocean kissed the shore softly, again and again. The Shore blushed under the setting sun and lightly pushed the ocean away. She didn’t know if she wanted this. It felt right but was it worth it? The ocean refused to stop coming back no matter how many times he was sent away. and the shore was thankful for this time to let her figure out her feelings.

The shore slowly fell in love. Bit by bit she started to see the way the ocean glistens under the sun, the way he carries the fresh salted air and the way he caresses her like she was glass. she enjoyed every moment with him even the little ones that probably meant nothing.

Then one day, the storm between them died down and another one started up on the shore. the ocean started keeping distance. he saw what a mess she is. said he didn’t see her beauty anymore. said it had been a waste of time.

The shore became guarded. “I don’t need him anyways” She found herself saying But, days gone by and he was still her first thought when she wakes and at 3am it was him that she sings about. They both build up rock walls wishing the other would break it down first…

Everyone only admired the ocean when the sun is out, once darkness settles, Sharp breeze kicks in and the sharks party. No one wants to swim among the waves. The shore hoped she had never made the ocean feel like that. like he was only brilliant in the light. like his darkness isn’t worth the time exploring. because, she still stares him in awe.


My heart, she is just so tired

My heart ,she is just so tired. She wants to take a rest from everything. Take a rest from the fights and the arguments. Because it seems like nothing will ever be good unless she gets out of here. She wants to love but she never seems to have time for the love they are looking for. She’s been called selfish, cold-hearted and emotionless. Things she isn’t. Isn’t isn’t isn’t. She hates it. She makes it up by giving; giving pieces of her away until she is something that makes you want to say “sorry”. She wants to scream, wants to yell but what she really wants is to stop having feelings altogether.

Rose Girl


Whenever I get mad, I pretend that I am a goddess. I imagine this ethereal glow emanating from me and remind myself that as soon as I raise my voice, spit out cruel words or lash out, I would have to spend days regretting. Every bitterness that comes out of me makes another flower wilt.  

The world around you can be so cruel. But you must stay soft.

So, with curled lashes, flushed cheeks and loose hair, I will live with the kind of velvety elegance that even roses would be jealous of.


Self Love Pt.2 : The Heart


Wow, I don’t know how a month passed by so fast. HELLO DECEMBER. Here’s self love pt2 sorry it took longer than it should’ve been.

*Cry your hearts out with a good movie. Sometimes a good cry cleanses the negative emotions you have loaded up inside you. “Love Rosie” is my number one  recommendation

*Go for morning runs, make sure to listen to what your heart pumps for.

* Sometimes, it’s a blessing to not get what we want. So  many times in my life I am grateful for what I do not have. I believe, being poor builds character.

* Spend some time being the cardio bunny. It’ll get that heart pumping. Now go listen to this song. It’s my absolute favourite.

* Find someone to care for and to spoil from time to time. Caring for others can mend the soul.

* Leave messages in other Tumblr member’s inbox (It’s a formality, if you aren’t doing it, I don’t know what you’ve been doing. *cough*)

*Put flowers on random gravestones and tell the souls beneath that they are loved, if only for a moment. (I stole this from someone but can’t find  who it belonged to…)

*Can we have some girl love? Too much competition going on between girls! Why can’t we all have a competition on who can compliment others the most? Make that happen, start now.

*Find someone to have a crush on. It’s such a precious thing to be able to feel so secretive about who you like. Notice little gestures they have, make sneaky eye contacts and then blush furiously.